new beginning, new blog

hello friends, followers, readers.

i've begun a new adventure in blogging. so my words/thoughts/photos/loves will not be recorded here further. please join me anew at: www.melancholymeanderer.blogspot.com  it's just beginning and not too refined yet. but join me nonetheless!

thanks....

lizzie

Currently We Started Nothing By The Ting Tings see related

that's not my name.

Four letter word just to get me along
It's a difficulty and I'm biting on my tongue
I Keep stalling, keeping it together
People around I gotto find something to say
Holding back everyday the same
Don't wanna be a loner
Listen to me
I never say anything at all
So with nothing to consider they forget my name

They call me hell
They call me Stacey
They call me her
They call me Jane
That's not my name...
They call me quiet
But I'm a riot
Mary-Jo-Lisa
Always the same
That's not my name...

I miss the catch when they throw me the ball
I'm the last drip standing up against the wall
Keep falling, these heels that keep me boring
Getting clamped up and sitting on the fence
So alone all the time and I lock myself away
Listen to me
Thought I'm dressed up out ‘n all
With everything considered they forget my name

They call me hell
They call me Stacey
They call me her
They call me Jane
That's not my name...
They call me quiet
But I'm a riot
Mary-Jo-Lisa
Always the same
That's not my name...

Are you calling me darling
Are you calling me bird...

went with the boy i like to the ting tings concert last night. it was so much fun (and oh-so-crowded).  they are such a fun couple that puts on a great show. and you can't beat those british accents. and the 80s flare. the best part of this song, probably their most popular, is the "are you calling me darling, are you calling me bird?" rift... kurt says it makes the song, an intense revelation of vulnerability. they sang it as their final song last night, and it was perfect. you should see them in person. you should at least listen to their one cd.

can't go

back from a break away. and i'm trying to break away from life as i need to live it. already have spring fever. i laid in bed for over an hour this morning, awake, but unable to actually get going with my day. and now, i'm here, still in my bedroom, now with my coat on and just needing shoes... but i can't seem to get myself to go to the internship that i just don't care enough about. and i think about calling in sick, mental health day, whatever, just to not have to go, so i can get back into bed and think some more and try to figure out my life. gear up for the next week of hellish busy-ness--and pleasant distractions. but i can't. i missed last week. the hours are needed. and the kids would terrorize.

my thoughts are elsewhere. i want life to stand still for a moment, or two. or day, or two. i have this need to have everything wrapped up and tidy (not evident from my messy life)... and it's really not. it's a wild feeling, things out of my hands.  i welcome it sometimes. and sometimes i fight hard against it. control and predictability is so much more comfortable. but i got sick of comfort. so who's complaining? in this place of discomfort i just want to create and write and revel in thoughts and feelings... not do homework and run around for this degree i'm seeking. now is not the time for me to entertain these melancholy aspirations.

kick my butt out the door, will ya?

feeling like that high school senior

again, not sure, scared

aware of lacking control of me, my emotions, the phone

thinking too hard, too long, attempts

my own personal form of self-torture

and life is--somehow--unexpectedly good.

Currently Waiting By The Devlins see related

been a while

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

- Martin Luther King Jr.

it really has. life has been a rollercoaster lately. can't believe how quickly time passes as i juggle so much. i spent about 10 days in colorado right after the big 2-8 birthday and it was lovely. i love being there with my family, with friends that feel like family, and away from here to rest.  it was a rejuvenating time, reminding me of who i am and how it feels to be known and loved. so thank you, colorado family. and then i came back and had another week or two to prep for second semester. (and somehow it's already that midterm time!) it's been a quiet beginning schoolwork wise, but now it's all catching up and i'm having a hard time catching my breath. the weight of it all really caught up with me last week. have to keep track of so many things, afraid i'm failing at that. and then thinking about the summer/next year already as they need our preregistration this friday! and on top of it, my social life picked up post-return from colorado. i have friends here that i am loving getting to know better, feel "me" around and am so thankful for. it's been a huge and much-anticipated turn of events. plus, i'm heading back to colorado at the end of the week for another stay over spring break. my sister just had her third boy--tate loren--and i get to go meet him! can't wait to hold his tiny hand. so knowing i'm going to be missing work, i've been picking up extra hours like a crazy woman. and life well, has never been so scheduled in some ways. and well, there's also the boy thing........ man, if anyone actually reads this, you can write me personally and ask. just wanted to let whoever reads know that life is crazy and full and, well, good actually. i'm learning and growing and knowing people and being known by them. and that is what life is to me. so i'm living! and wanted to live it briefly here for you.

update on slumdog: I TOLD you it was a good'un... see all the awards and hype!? i admit, i'm a bit annoyed with some of it, that the families of the kiddos from the slums of india who were stars in the movie get a way out... and what about the rest of india? but alas..!